I'm in almost the same place. Same milky way galaxy, same solar system, same planet. But in a different country. Far away from the home which I considered as my own place. After being here more than half of a year, today, at this particular point of time, when I stop everything and turn back to see what happened so far, I see some great insight. During last seven months, I forgot lot of good things which I used to practice for many years. There was a time I used to day dream a lot. At home I usually walk here and there from living room to the kitchen, from front door to the rear door thinking about so many crazy things. May be I have walked so many kilometers inside our home a day. I used to read a lot of books. They helped me to improve the quality of my day dreams. They added good ingredients to life. But suddenly I quit living that life and stayed alive for about seven months .
|image credit: Udaya Wijenayake|
During this time period I could not find time to walk around day dreaming for hours. Everything is scheduled. Wakeup, have breakfast, goto lab, lunch time, dinner time, come back to dormitory and goto sleep. Everything has a specified time. I'm not used to follow these time tables which are virtually unbreakable. At home I used to hold my plate during lunch for more than an hour since I was thinking while eating. I used to stand under the shower for a long time keep thinking. How much wonderful the day dreaming was. I made a mistake by quitting it. Now I know I have initiated to roll back. Back to the mysterious world of day dreaming. Whatever the reasons are, back to the dream world is good. It feels good. Its not easy to find time for that. So I do it all the time. The ingredients provider has started the service again. I'm reading books again. Not just the research papers like last seven months. I read good books. Good as a good book can be. Besides that, the most important function is started now. Let me try to tell you how it feels.
About a week ago, we had a holiday. That's last Thursday. I couldn't find any enjoyable plan to spend that holiday. After different failures, finally I had the only choice that is going for a ride. A ride on my bicycle. Just me and the bicycle. On that day I woke up late at the lunch time. Had the lunch from dormitory cafeteria, took the bike and left. In my backpack there was a really good book. The book I'm still reading these days. My plan was simple. Go to the river side near the university, ride the bicycle in the track along the river and when I get tired, sit down on a bench and read the book until the stars appear and ask me to go home. However the plan started to shift away from the very beginning. Riding the bicycle along side the river felt so joyful than ever. From one side, the river that flows so calmly. Ahead, the never ending bicycle track. All over I see mountains, trees, and the clear blue sky above me. The faster I ride, the cooler the river side breeze which washed my face. There was nothing to stop me from keep moving. So, I kept moving, riding like crazy.
Carl Sagan once said, "We began as wanderers and we are wanderers still". I was wandering without a hope for no particular destination. I didn't know when I will fed up, when my legs start to hurt and ask me to stop moving. I didn't know when I should turn back and get to home. I just knew that there is a long way ahead and I can try to move a little bit more before I fed up of this long way joyful campaign. For a long time I wondered what life has to offer. What it will bring up finally. Its always the curiosity and uncertainty what fills our lives. There's nothing for sure. We just see the blue sky, the surrounding mountains, the long way ahead and the memories of our starting position of this journey. Whatever the decisions we make either to keep moving ahead hoping for the best or to turn back and go to the beginning is totally based on the limited information we have at the moment. But most importantly, whatever the decision we made, we should have the courage to stand by it without giving up easily. The situations can be really unfavorable for keep moving. But still its worth keep moving until we are really sure that it's time to give up and turn back.
|image credit: Udaya Wijenayake|
Anyway, this lonely voyage didn't last longer. Suddenly I got a message from Udaya Aiya who is a senior and a close friend of me. He was worrying where I was and then he decided to join the journey. Within the next half an hour, he arrived with his bicycle. Then Pathum joined. Finally Nadee akka. Together we all, traveled a long way. It was so much an exciting experience. We decided to turn back and go home when it was darkness all over, leaving the distant stars staring at us. I returned to the dormitory but not as the person who left in the lunch time. My mind was full of fresh thoughts and great insights into life which I collected from the cool breeze of river side. I hope they will last long with me in the voyage of life.
- -------------------- -